This past Sunday, the world tuned in to one of the most iconic red carpets in the world to learn which A listers would be leaving home with an illustrious Academy Award. Better known as an Oscar, this golden statue, that weighs in at almost 8 pounds, marks the triumph of two things. For the winner, an Oscar marks recognition from the filmmaking world of your creative endeavors. It’s a tip of the hat from your peers saying You did the thing, we see you. For those behind the campaigns, this day as a whole marks the end of an almost 15 month long window of hard, grueling, nerve wracking work, and nail biting work. Work that goes down to the very last minute like every single step down the red carpet on Hollywood and Highland.
Now with all the love the stars get on this day I thought I would partake in some of the celebratory selfies and photos galore. After seeing the amazing response from the fans and the followers I thought I’d share my skin routine. From the pregame to the after party, here’s this publicist’s secret campaign to Oscar-ready skin.
Rally the Night Before
The night before the Oscars proper rest and hydration is key to your survival. Just like we stress to talent, get in some Zs the night before because those HD cameras show no mercy. Because I knew that I was running around all day long, I needed my skin to start at a 0 so it could make it to 100. Whether it be from stress or pollution in the air, having a clean slate is key to making sure everything you do sticks.
When it comes to cleaning and toning my skin I stick with a few products: Tatcha Pure One Step Camellia Cleansing Oil, Dermalogica Daily Microfoliant, LUSH Tea Tree Water and Drunk Elephant Night Bright set (the Virgin Marula Oil and Glycolic Night Serum). These products are not only made with clean ingredients, but they do some heavy lifting. This combo of products (in that order) keeps my combo skin feeling clean and fresh!
I used to have oily skin. Part of the reason my skin cleared up was because I finally understood how my skin changed and that I had to change my routine. Those thick night creams or masks just left me feeling greasy and clogged. As someone with an oily T zone, these products help take that away without stripping the rest of my skin. Shoutout to the Tatcha oil because that baby not only melts away sunscreen and makeup but it keeps oil away. After all, if there’s already oil on your face why would your body make even more? But again, everyone’s skin is beautiful and different in its own way. Do what you love and what works for you!
Pregame With the Right Stuff
Now it’s showtime! The award show is only a few hours away. Today your job is to both be invisible and be everywhere at the same time. Because you must ensure that your focus is on your talent and team’s success, you can’t stop to do any major touch ups on yourself. I’ve found the key to my skin’s success to be in the sacred trinity of hydration, good foundation, and mindful snacking. Here’s why it works for me:
When I wake up I make sure I have ample time to get ready. No less than 2 hours is what I give myself, because I’m including the time it takes to style hair, get the outfit in order, and triple checking that from my clipboard to a pack of gum it’s all in my bag. The first thing I do when I wake up, and I cannot stress this enough, is drinking a tall glass of water. Before I put anything into my body I make sure it’s already getting liquid ice in. Not only does this start you on the right track of being hydrated, but a lot of sciencey sources say that it will boost your metabolism. All I know is that I feel good and activated when water gets into my system after hours of not having any in my sleep.
Your skin is a reflection of what you put into your body. Remember you are what you eat, so on a day like the Oscars you want to look and feel great. That’s why I drink a true green smoothie. Now what do I mean by “true?” I mean that I don’t just toss in 3 spinach leaves and then load berries, 2 bananas, and a boat-load of fruits into the blender. My recipe includes a handful of kale, spinach, ½ banana, ⅓ apple, 1 scoop of vegan protein, and about 4oz of unsweetened almond milk. My friend Eliza introduced me to an amazing vegan friendly green powder that contains all your daily greens. Whether you make this smoothie or not try a scoop of that in your mix and trust me you’re gonna love how you feel!
While I don’t typically eat a meal before an awards show I do recommend carrying snacks. I’m not vegan, trust me I cannot live without a good Mendocino farms Asian chicken salad, but I do stick to vegan protein on days like these. Part of how I keep my skin calm is by avoiding sugars and salts. The day of award shows there always seems to be candy jars, salted nuts, or granola bars around. It’s important to fuel your body yes but also fuel it with the good stuff. Now if you need some M&Ms to function I totally understand (whether because of blood sugar or whatever you need, you do what you need)! But through avoiding excessive sugars in fruit bars or salt in nut mixes, I noticed that my skin didn’t suffer redness or any inflammation.
Let’s Get Down to Business
Now that I’m hydrated and I got my smoothie by my side, of course with a stainless steel straw, here’s where the magic happens. No filter necessary because your skin won’t need one! Here’s what I use to get my face photo ready the same LUSH toner from before, Drunk Elephant’s vitamin C serum, LUSH enzymion moisturizer, and lastly a cocktail of the IT Concealer CC+ Cream Oil-Free Matte (in the shade of light medium) and a pump of the Drunk Elephant marula oil. Yes that same marula oil from the night mask makes a triumphant return as a key player in my morning routine. Here’s how it all comes together:
When my skin was like a battering frying pan of grease and gunk I made sure to wash my face every morning. After discovering that I had combo skin I stuck to simply rinsing my face with some water. After patting it dry, yes patting not scrubbing, it’s time to start putting on my war paint.
The first move to make is a few spritz of the LUSH tea tree toner. This stuff is like magic in a bottle because after it goes on I feel an instant rush of coolness and hydration. Through the good, bad, and ugly selfies that the world will never see, this stuff always gave me a small bit of hope. While my toner dries I move on to my vitamin C serum. I have no idea why this stuff works, but trust me when I say this step will save your life. The Drunk Elephant C-Firma serum seriously will make your face glow. You’ll also feel good because all those antioxidant goodies in just 1 pump will protect your skin from all the pollution in the air around you. I find that with all the good stuff going into your body it’s only right that the outside is just as protected too.
At first your skin might feel a little tacky with this serum, just give it a minute. During the drying phase of the serum is when I usually start to both section my hair and start the blow drying process. How do I get my Hollywood ready hair you might ask? Well - it’s all brought to you by Drybar but that’s a post for another day (let me know if you want it tbh!). I just put on about a dime amount of the LUSH moisturizer. The Enzymion moisturizer is great for those who have oiler skin and want a matte finish. When I discovered this baby almost 6 years ago I rotated in and out. If you pat on your skin and feel its dry then it’s time to whip up that creamy cocktail of concealer and marula oil. The brilliant mind behind mixing the concealer and oil goes to a Sephora associate who truly saved my life. She really listened to me and knew that I wanted full coverage without any sliver of shine peeking through. It takes me about 2 pumps to cover my face and just 1 of the oil to get the job done. Not only will you have that oh so amazing airbrushed look, but the oil ensures that your body doesn’t make any more! Science!
I'm no esthetician, beautician, or any expert in any kind of way when it comes to skin. All I can speak to is my experience from trial and error. I cannot stress it enough that what works for me might not work for you. Part of why I'm writing this is hopefully inspire you and excite you to go over your own routine and see what you can do to make yourself look and feel good. Thanks again to everyone who showed my selfie some love and took the time to indulge in this piece. To the fans and friends let's get it!
The week leading up to Christmas is a crazy time full of races. These races include, but are not limited to dashing through department stores for deals; sprinting to studios and gyms for their promotions; and jotting down goals for -now- the new decade. I realized that when I went to write down my goals one thought did NOT cross my mind. It was halfway through my chicnscratch-style-cursive when I hadn’t yet thought 2019 sucked!
Like the saying goes, You are your own worst critic and I believe this carries into how we plan for the new year. Because for most people the first thing to cross their mind is Wow this last year sucked! I can say with confidence that yes 2019 did suck. But it also had some unforgettable moments. For me, this year was when I finally got to reap basically everything I sewed this past decade. Ah - as I walk down memory lane, ofc in my Gucci Aces, I think about the moments that defined it… You might not be surprised by some of the top moments that made it for me, but again my life is an open book. So sit back, scroll on, and I hope you have some laughs and awws!
Getting My BA, Despite All my BS
While there was never any doubt I’d graduate from college, there were many times when I doubted my talents in what I was studying. I majored in Writing & Rhetoric, a degree that for the most part is pretty made up for liberal arts in the undergrad. I’d say it was more like studying communications then English. But it still baffles me how I could jump from drawing diagrams of sentences, to writing about Beyonce and making videos about Ariana Grande. I can honestly say I loved my academic journey as it wrapped up in 2019. My last year was all about studying things that I wanted to, and challenging myself to prove that it mattered. Journalism and politics weren’t my focus in writing. However, I am proud to have earned distinction in my major, I was one of 3 y’all, and prove that pop culture is political.
Securing the Bag After College
Now I truly am writing this in the most humble sense, but I knew I would find my way back into the industry after college. In the last decade, I cannot tell you how hard I worked in breaking into the world of Hollywood. It wasn't just enough to be a fan of the industry, I became a scholar of it. Even when I was too young to intern at a studio or production company I was building my vernacular and skills regarding entertainment. From reading the trades at school, to constantly being on the radar at open houses and emailing recruiters, I made sure that everywhere I went someone left knowing my name. That's why when I finished school the challenge wasn't finding out what to do. My challenge was finding out where I'd want to start my career. Luckily, through the networking I'd done and work I put in I found a job that gave me a chance to do more and do real work with real talent.
Treating Fitness as a Celebration of my Body
When I came back from my semester abroad I was sure that yes it changed my life, and I wanted to work on myself. One of my biggest insecurities has always been my weight. I have been plump for as long as I can remember. And while I am truly lucky to never have faced animosity because of my weight, I was constantly beating myself up. I used to think I wasn't attractive enough to post pictures of myself, make friends, and even land my dream job. Luckily, we live in a world that is less superficial, but still is, then what I imaged in my head. This past year is when I started to focus on my health and wellness seriously. I was eating healthier and starting to be a regular at my school's gym. However, the change didn't come until I stopped having the mindset that every mile I ran was for every cookie I ate. By that I mean that I started to see fitness as a way of understanding and accepting my body. When the miles became goals I had and not a punishment, not only did the weight come off but the rest followed suit. I left my insecurities at the door and stepped into things like spin classes, weight training, heck even Crossfit! So in this past year I'm so proud to be where I'm at, and I am eager to keep it up in 2020 and see how much more I can improve my relationship with my body,
Owning Up to My Own Bills
This is something that came on later in 2019, but bills bills bills they're here to stay. I am blessed and fortunate enough to have parents who have supported my sisters and I as much as they have. I graduated college without any debt, my own car, and that's on top of the funds my parents made sure I had in school. So when I finished school, I made it a point to show my parents that their investment in me could pay off. My phone, my groceries, and gas expenses were now my own. Every trip to Starbucks was now my responsibility. Don't get me wrong, for someone who is truly new to the working thing I had no idea how to budget. But when my parents saw me making a spreadsheet with my bills and managing my money they seemed proud. I am too. I'm still a long ways away from my fortune 500 lifestyle, but I am understanding that ordering a Venti iced mathca latte with two scoops and coconut milk errr day maybe isn't the best thing to do.
Finding a Group, Or Should I Say Posse, and Sticking To It
Back in high school, I was in a cohort of students who would stay together for 4 years. At least, that was the plan. But thanks to the encouragement of the teacher leading us, I moved up to an AP track. Now moving onto to AP English from Honors wasn't major, yet I did act like I was gone all together. I grew apart from this group and notably felt sad when we graduated from high school. It wasn't that I couldn't stay friends with them, I just didn't put in the effort. That's why this highlight means so much. In this last decade, I've belonged to a posse for almost 5 years now. We've known each other since high school, went through college together, and now we're like kinda adults out in the world. These individuals all grew up with me and saw me when I was batsh!t crazy in school. And this group also saw me reach some of my greatest goals in the decade. I'm proud that in my own way, and on my own terms, I remained apart of a posse, crossing the finish line with them in 2019.
Planning a Friend's Vacay
Just like every basic girl whose IG posts about Rome reference the Lizzie McGuire movie, I came back from abroad with a travel bug. During my senior year in college, I'll admit I got some good trips in. Going to Rochester and Syracuse, NY became normal, and I got to visit Boston for the first time. (Then there was that weekend my friends and I piled into my car and partied in Toronto during senior week, ugh miss those clowning days.) As I wrote about in a previous post, planning a trip was something I needed now as a kinda real adult. It was an utter treat to reunite with some of my closest friends in the city that is full of flavour; Boston. Cheers to all of my friends who were always down to clown, and here's to my friends who have always had a couch for me to crash on. May 2020 bring more trips, more fun, and more life abroad!
Write On Willy!
I am a writer through and through. Before my love for social media or PR comes the power of the written word. Studying writing and getting to write about writing this past year was exhilarating. In 2019, I got to geek out with faculty and staff members at school about things like grammar and style. I doubt most people could understand or get excited when they read a spicy lede, but this past year I was all about it! As part of my college experience, I created a final writing portfolio. In those nearly 80 pages I made a case for who was Will and what is his voice. This past year was traced in my work with prose. I became a Writing Fellow and helped students with their process, I grew in my process, and I felt like I made a mark in my writing department. In the new year I want to continue to write for myself. I want to maintain my voice and amplify it. Connecting with people is what I love to do, and all I can hope for in 2020 is that I can do more of it on a scale I could never imagine.
Family Finally Meaning Something
Family is something that means different things to different people. Nonetheless, it's something that every person defines for themselves. However, I never really had a focus on defining family. I loved my immediate family of course. It was the idea of embracing people, trusting them, and growing with them that seemed alien to me. I'm a pretty abrasive person. I like to keep it this way to not get hurt. But 2019 was the year where I finally started to let people in. And not like fake in with banter about the weather and all that, but I really let people in. From my hopes, dreams, fears, and more, people at school and even my own family began to have pieces of my heart. I think people noticed I was more genuine. But it was only because in 2019 I learned from some of the kindest souls I will probably ever meet.
Honoring My Process of Becoming...
Hannah Montana said it first, nobody's perfect, and she was right. I don't really adhere to the idea that life is a river and you go with the flow. I believe more that we are the masters of our own fate. The universe is chaotic and there's things out of our control. One thing that each of us controls is our reaction to what comes our way. This past year I started to both own my decisions and own my mistakes. In the year I plan to continue to be a better person than I was the day before. Whether it's saying, "Please" and "Thank you," running at a .1 faster pace, or just spending 5 more minutes with a friend, I want to do things to feel like I'm growing into a person I want to be.
I had probably never, and I mean never, like never ever, been so excited to ditch the west coast than I was this past weekend. After surviving a work trip in Arkansas, I knew that it was time for me to take a break. It was actually during my time away that I started sewing together a plan for my first ever vacation since being an undergrad.
I’ve been working full time since about July and I definitely was starting to feel fatigued. All of my friends, professors, and family members warned me that the real world was not going to be easier than school. I knew better than to imagine it would be easy. But now that I was, and am, in the thick of it it’s been such a sobering experience. Like it really has been sobering, because I hardly go out and party now!
Before I talk about my trip to Boston, I think it’s important to talk about my thought process leading to this mini vacation. I’ve been working full time since July, reminder I graduated back in May. I had a very good amount of time to still have fun and live my life responsibility free. My only real commitments were paying my phone bill, filling up my car, and feeding our dog Peggy. I still had savings from school, so even these small pressures weren’t weighing on me. Something that I had not expected was that when I started working the weight and stress would start to pile on over time. For some reason, I thought that starting a job was like a sink or swim type scenario. I expected the start of this race to be the hardest. However, like any race, the real challenge is keeping your pace. With this being my first job I must admit I ran out of steam around mid-October.
I don’t remember where I saw it, but there was an article that caught my attention talking about work and stamina. There was a point made that Americans pride themselves in literally working themselves to death. This is a thought process that I not only don’t condone but can’t accept. I believe and advocate for a healthy balance of home/work life. I could never be that person who lives on red-eyes.
While some people thrive off the adrenaline of constantly being under pressure I realized that this is not how I operate. Accepting my physical, mental, and emotional stamina early on is what has made my life all the more enriching. If I had tried to match the sheer will power of my colleagues I would have burned out. If I crashed and burned not only would my team suffer, but then I’d be left without an income and no way of getting more drip for the gram. Now how I could let my fans down on the gram?!
I had never imagined that my first real vacation would take me back to a place where down jackets and Bean boots were expected. But I admit I loved my time back east! If you didn't know, I decided to head back to Boston, Massachusetts for a mini reunion with some of my closest friends. #Squadgoals cannot even contain how much these girls meant to me! And its also not bougie enough for our lifestyle brand image! Anyways, it was Veterans Day weekend and after trying to plan a trip in June, all of my friends and I finally found a time to make it happen. Allie and I were taking the weekend off and getting away. This was the second time our group would all be in Boston together since our senior year fall break. It's also kind of poetic how we reunited about a year after this trip.
The first time I ever came to Boston was to celebrate our friend Eliza's birthday. Just like that first trip, this break was an invite to do it all! We ate good food, bought some good drinks, and of course Allie and I made even party as hard as we to in The Beef and Brew! I was so glad to see my friends and just take a minute to forget about the deadlines and drama that my job was all about. I got to shut off my mind from worrying about what other people needed from me. Here I was with some of my best friends just doing as we pleased. Every night we went out and I never worried about waking up early. HA- in fact there was a day where Allie and I woke up at like 1pm to see that Eliza had already lived her life for like half the day.
While some of our friends live in Boston, I think that seeing us out-of-town friends activated their inner vacation mode too. I was proud to see my friends adulting and hearing about their lives since we left Seneca Lake. Our conversations started off in the realm of nostalgia, but ended in a sobering dose of reality. We laughed, we talked about love, and them drank to the bills we had to pay later that month.
There was a lot of fun on this trip, and thankfully many moments captured by our momager LK. I want to dedicate a separate post to that, so stay posted!
In the meantime, to all my friends and those who read this, I hope this offered you a good break. Taking a break isn't a bad thing after all! Whether it's just taking a breath or going to an intense workout, or anything you can imagine, just take a moment for yourself.
The new group of friends I was hanging with enhanced my confidence so much. My friends introduced me to the holy grail of alcoholic beverages with the White Claw. With only 100 calories and like 0 carbs this was the universe’s will telling me to get into shape! Let it be known that Lauren Kane introduced me to these endless fun. The spring good times just kept rolling and one of our group’s highlights was sharing tips and tricks into getting our bodies right for #CatamaranSeason. Which by the way we created, trademarked, and could never be copied. I saw my friends jogging, eating greens all the time, and snacking on chips that were chips but like also weren’t… I just remember that as I tried different workouts or just tried to commit to going to the gym I wasn’t hiding it from my friends like I used to avoid the subject at all.
My time in England had made me confident in my skin because here I met people who liked me for me. Kind of like what the spring offered me, my semester abroad was my clean slate. I gave myself permission to talk about my insecurities, not hide behind humor, and be open about what I liked and didn’t like. Granted, I thought I’d never see these friends again, but thank God I didn’t ghost them! During my time abroad I had started to cook for myself, since in the UK there are no dining halls, and being active regularly. One of my favorite past times was taking the First Bus to the Norwich Castle Mall and roaming around, with no goal or destination in mind. This same sense of drifting is what helped me walk into the gym at school and not say no. I was always down to go anywhere and that included taking a spin class, signing up for CrossFit, or hell even entertaining my friend Pippa’s idea of joining rugby for like 0.2 seconds.
As my walls came down I started to let my friends in and teach me what they knew about fitness. My friend Will, I swear we became friends since we have the same name, taught me what he learned from his personal trainer. I started to build a basic routine and felt good about knowing a little bit of what I was doing. I felt a difference in my body for sure. But nothing inspired me more than when it was that famed day for our boat and I noticed that my board shorts were a bit looser. My shorts weren’t falling off my hips, but I felt that for once I was actually doing something and my body was responding. I promised myself that when summer came I would get a gym membership, shoutout to my friend Ailyn who really got me to get over my fears of the gym.
Since the summer of 2018 , I started watching workout vids, following influencers, and investing into getting the right gear for this fitness journey of mine. I don’t remember the moment when I realized I had started this journey, it all kind of just started to line up. And that’s how I feel about signing up for this race. I never thought of signing up for a marathon because I thought it was something I maybe wasn’t ready to do. But this is why I surround myself who see my potential, because my personal trainer knew this was not impossible.
After graduating from school in May, I moved back home and one of the first big boy things I did was find a gym and commit to personal training. Luckily, Planet Fitness came in clutch! There was a gym by my house and I started taking classes with the trainer slowly. Now those first workouts kicked my ass! I would feel winded during our warm up, like girl all we were doing was jumping jacks, some burpees, and high knees how was I dying?! Well this pain was the reason I knew I was doing the right thing. Every time I reset during a set or was told to stop to fix my breathing was building me up. The weekly class became two a week, then three, then four, then starting Orange Theory, and then mixing in heavy weight and resistance. My trainer noticed me getting stronger and looking better, I truly felt like I was glowing because my family and friends noticed our work paying off. I’d learned to trust the pain in the process thanks to my trainer, and when she presented the 5k to me I didn’t immediately say no. She was presenting me with a new fitness goal to reach. I was game!
Here’s an interesting note, the week before the 5K I was in Arkansas. Because I was on a work trip, I didn’t really have the time or resources to squeeze in much of a workout besides some push ups or crunches at night. I tried to watch my eating, but with parties every night I did enjoy a good vodka soda and southern fried food copiously. After arriving on Tuesday night, I signed up for an OTF class for Wednesday and booked a training session on Thursday and Friday. I had no idea how my body would respond to the shock of getting back into the grind, but I had to get back into it if I wanted to do this 5k the best that I could.
I guess I got lucky, because my OTF workout was all cardio. And when I mean ALL cardio I mean we ONLY used TREADMILLS and ROWERS. Someone could have picked me up and squeezed me and sweat would have poured out as if I was a little sponge. My trainer was running the 5K with myself, her daughter, and another gym member, and so we focused on getting in some good leg workouts. She knew I was stagnant most of my trip. However, she let me know that this was her first ever 5K to and that we were doing this for ourselves. Knowing that we were a team of novices excited me. Even though I woke up at like 5:00am to make a smoothie and get in my pre workout, I was energized this morning.
At 8:10am the call was made for all the 5k runners to line up. Someone nearby asked her friend Are you nervous? Her friend shrugged and said Kinda, I guess. If she had asked me, I would’ve said Same. I was not nervous to run, nor was I super eager to either. I was in the zone and could only think about keeping my pace. As the rope was cut the only voice that mattered was Rita Ora’s as the first song on my 5K DAY playlist was “Anywhere.” For most of the race, the gang stood together. Yet, a mile into the run we came across a steep hill. I shuffled beside my trainer and she noticed my steady breathing. You got a personal goal you gotta go reach it. She waved her hand forward and smiled. Just like her goal was to not let this hill beat her, mine was to not stop. I nodded and smiled and took off to keep my heart rate up. I looked forward, popped in my other AirPod and zoned back into the race.
My legs were pumping forward and my breath was steady, I looked briefly at my phone and could not believe that I was 2.9 miles in! The morning was still very cool and I felt my body radiating warmth. My hat gave me some shade and as I made it up the last hill I finally saw the sun breaking. The first few rays of light hit the path in front of me and it seemed like all the runners followed this illuminated path to the finish line. I took one last deep breath and pushed the earth away from me as I saw the finish line and the timer. Under 35, under 35, under 35.... that's what I kept telling myself.
I was really feeling it because when I crossed the finish line I felt something cold touch my hand and I was broken out of a trance. One of the volunteers handed me my medal and congratulated me for finishing. I was panting, but you know damn well I had to put it on and record this moment. I had finished a 5K. I didn't care about winning, didn't care about who had the cutest outfit, all I cared about is that I had done something else that I never thought I could do before. When my trainer found me she said I made it in 35:30 not bad for my first time, but look at you! I saw you get there before me! She was proud of me and I was too. We had a big group hug and I didn't care about comparing times or anything. I was just happy that just how I started my fitness journey trusting strangers turned friends that here I was with a new group that would continue to inspire me to say thank u, next wellness milestone.
Of the 5 senses, I cannot think of a receptor that I have underappreciated as much as taste even though it’s become one of my most developed. My relationship with food has long been a novice and dangerous one. I’ve never been a foodie. I was just fat. My struggles with maintaining a healthy diet really did come from my embarrassment to learn about food culture because I thought it would just make it more obvious that I ate a lot. But it wasn’t just that I was having a copious amount of calories, I was also eating all the wrong things.
During my childhood, my grandma did the cooking in the house. My mom worked with my dad running their business and so during the school day grandma was the matriarch of the house. After she picked us up from school, I vividly remember walking into our house and catching a whiff of her spices and caldos brewing. My entire family is Salvadoran so you would expect that pupusas and those gelatinous tamalaes wrapped in plantain leaves would adorn our plates. This was not the case. In general, my mom’s side of the family does not cook. Back in El Salvador, my mom’s family were vendors. Because their days were defined by hustling from before sunrise until twilight, my family found that buying food was a welcomed relief. This same attitude of finding cheap and ready-to-eat food carried on when my parents started their family.
My parents started their family young and they started it without a clear model of a stable family. I won’t get into the nitty gritty, but my mom was the only one to have two parents and grew up in a house. Part of this learning curve of being young adults is learning how to provide for these little human beings that you love so much you’d do anything for them. It was a treat when my dad would get a weekend off or have time before our bed time to see my sisters and I. We’d make it an event when our family could go eat out. My dad worked in fast food, he was a regional manager, and so with a hard schedule a trip to McDonalds was always welcomed. As mentioned, I knew my parents loved my sisters and I more than we deserved. This was evident when we wouldn’t split an apple pie, no, each kid got their own of those devilishly good sweets.
My relationship with food was that there was always food around, a sign of my parent’s prerogative to provide, but the problem was that I didn’t know that nutrition was part of this equation. So my grandma cooked, and she made this for the kids and for my parents when they got home from work. But around middle school, I developed a vice for fast food. I was tired, angsty from puberty, and I didn’t play sports, so going out to eat with my friends was my relief. McDonalds, Starbucks, Denny’s, you name it and it was in walking distance of my school. I found it to fill up my day and tummy to go eat. Paradoxically, my wallet was shrinking while my waist was growing. By the time I entered high school, I was obese and I had a bad habit for always wanting to go out and eat.
Pitching a movie and lunch was my weekend plan. Eating out all these fried and sugary foods was packing on the pounds. Along with damaging my health, my emotional health was suffering too. The older I got, the bigger I got too. It made me insecure, feel ugly, and almost unworthy to take up space. I couldn’t fit into the clothes I wanted to, my skin wasn’t silky rather it looked as greasy as the Asian Zing wings I always ordered. My problem wasn’t binge eating or purging or any other eating disorder, I just ate out all the time.
Fast forward a few years, and I swear I’ll get back to this journey soon so stay tuned, and I’ve learned that #CheatDay does me more harm than good. I’m proud to report that I weigh 170 pounds, a milestone considering how I’ve shed off 50 pounds since I started my wellness journey. I started to cut down sugar intake, carbs, and most things that fry. Again, as someone whose main issue was poor nutrition the switch was mostly easy. Of course, it was hard to skip burgers for salads. But, when I watched vids and read about other salads that weren’t just iceberg lettuce I saw that eating healthy could be tasty too.
With my diet changing came the grueling work of getting my body moving. I started a gym routine and taking workouts seriously. If I wasn’t dripping in sweat I knew I wasn’t giving it my all. And if I wanted to fit in my Gucci belt, which recently I had to add holes to make smaller, than I had to give this my all.
About a week ago, I finished a brutal leg day and joked to my trainer that I wanted In N Out as my cheat day treat. Her smile quickly turned into a set of straight lips and she sternly said, “Cool, make sure you get that protein style and eat half the fries.” I nodded, still panting, and thought But this is cheat day?! She noticed my quiet response and said, “Look you can eat whatever you want, whenever you want, but if you want to change your body and feel good you got to learn how to control your nutrition.”
That comment stuck, and when I get home I digested it while showering. My belly was empty so her food for thought was filling. She was right. The idea of cheat day, and one day where you binge all the sweet, savory, tart or bitter foods that you miss could easily curtail the work you did those 6 other days of the week. I was and am working out and watching my diet for a long term transformation. Doing this means that everything I put into my body is part of that journey. If I devoured Costco pizza I would be saving money, but I’d be pushing myself back more than if maybe I had 2 or 3 slices during a week.
I notice that #CheatDay contains all kinds of post like pizza, burgers, and donuts and such. My truth is that I shouldn’t fear food. Food is my friend. My fear of talking about food was from not wanting to look fat, yet I realize now that talking about food can be empowering. If I want pizza I should look into it, and that’s how I found cauliflower pizza! If cheat day is your 1 day to feel that goodness that comes from greasy food go for it. But if I really want a burger I can eat one, just control the rest of the meal as well. Do I want all the fries? Do I really want a shake? Maybe yes maybe no, but I can only know if I treat all food was pieces of my journey instead of an escape from this transformation.